Strange Hotel

My parents and brothers are visiting and staying in a strange hotel outside of PJ, NY. I am thinking that they probably chose to stay outside of PJ because of my comparing it to DK, MD. I had mentioned the surrounding towns being a bit nicer.

The hotel is very high up. There is a creaky set of old, wooden stairs you have to climb in order to get to the room. Walking up the stairs, I notice that there is no railing on the tiny porch that leads to the door. How is this safe?! There is a flimsy bar that runs across the side, but it is too high up (about chin length for me) to prevent a fall. You'd have to grab onto it if you were to lose your balance, and swing your body back onto the porch. We are as high as the tree tops. This is not safe. I'm worried for my mom especially. I think of how she's fallen before.

Suddenly, my mom is shaking the bar aggressively. What is she thinking?! She stops, and reassures me that it is indeed sturdy.

Now, we're inside the 'hotel room'. It think it's actually a tree house. The walls are made with unfinished wood. The rooms are long and narrow, like the rooms in my grandmother's old house. The old fashioned, flowery style even reminds me of my grandmother.

Now, I'm outside. I catch a glimpse of what seems to be an alley. Am I in OC?

I'm following my cousin C around, outside somewhere. I'm worried that she will embarrass herself. I guess we're at a park because I'm watching her walk up to a tube slide. She gets stuck inside, but is able to free herself. She's laughing it off.

***

Since my partner and I are moving into our first apartment soon, to a new state, I've been thinking about where my parents will stay when they come up to visit. They were pretty attached to the quaint mountain town we live in currently in. We're moving to the city, which we be less of a 'break' from the city life they live. PJ is a city not to far from where I currently reside, which, when they came up this way to visit for the first time, I told them to avoid, hence the reference.

Dream Moods suggests an unstable railing to possibly represent a need for support/assistance in some area. Rooms can, supposedly, represent hidden aspects of the subconscious mind. This particular room being familiar, cozy, and quaint could be telling. Embracing what's familiar, perhaps, due to a fear of change? Dreaming of a tree-house can apparently be indicative of a desire to 'escape' harsh realities. The alley seen could possibly indicate a feeling of missed opportunity or a sense of limited options. Given what's been on my mind lately, it certainly makes sense.

I think about my cousin from time to time, given that we were once so close and that I rarely hear from her other than in scattered facebook updates now. I think of our childhood together, from time to time, and wonder if she's ever overcome the self-esteem issues she'd always struggled with.These memories could have inspired the slide scene.

Idk what to call this

S&T are visiting the country. I think we (A and I) are meeting them at the airport. (I don't remember details, but it felt like an airport) When we greet them, I comment about how lucky they are to have such long vacation time.

Next thing I know, we are all at N&P's house. T and A are goofing off in P's office. I know they are just fooling around, but I perceive T to be sensitive and I worry that A may push it. This situation makes me very nervous.

Next thing I know, T comes to me, play crying, because A ripped the corner of his book cover. I glare at A and playfully scold him, "why did you do that?!" I hope this isn't the result of a conversation I thought might occur.

I am now in the hall with S. She makes a comment about a N's dog (I don't remember the comment, something about it being cute?) and I want to say something about how 'spirited' the eyes are (it made sense at the time). I didn't because, for some reason, I thought it might offend her (again, it made sense at the time).

Now, I am downstairs looking for alcohol to offer S&T. In particular, I'm looking for my Mike's hard lemon-aid stash (this should have struck me as odd, considering we are at N&P's). I spot empty bottles that look like mine in the magazine holder of the recliner. Did somebody seriously drink all of MY stuff?? As I zoom in to take a closer look, I see that it's beer; not mine.

Now I'm in the 'green room' where S,T, and A are watching a movie. I wish I had the drinks.

***
Nothing really interesting to analyze here, just a myriad of anxieties getting the better of me. FUCK YOU, DREAM NERVES!

the Coffee Quest

I'm on vacation with my parents in some sort of motel. I realize there is no coffeemaker in the room. My dad tells me that I have to walk outside to get to the coffee. My mom mentions it not being like the M. Country Motel. I think she is insinuating that it will be a longer walk. I remember the M. Motel ... the coffee was in the main cottage (a two minute walk).

I am now outside in what seems like a back alley. I pass a few strange shops - one of which seems mystical in nature (I can't remember the details). I'm suddenly feeling very anti-social. It's a little crowded. I'm thinking someone is going to try hitting on me and I'm really not in the mood. I just want coffee.

I'm at the end of a road leading to a main road where a 'parade' (I think?) is going on. I see T.W. helping with what looks like a float? Maybe it's something to do with 'the coffee house' (an evangelism outreach program my former church did and still does)? I ask her if she knows where I can find coffee. She points me in a direction, but she's not making sense. I continue walking.

I'm back at the motel, never having found it. My stomach hurts. I contribute this to the lack of coffee.

***

I got an e-mail from my mom after not having heard from her since they visited in December (when we stayed in the the M. Motel together) I tend to worry, when I don't hear from her, that she has somehow found out about my atheism and wants nothing to do with me all over again (we're only on good terms as of recently after six years of little to no communication). Thinking about their past visit is likely what inspired the setting.

I often feel anti-social at work when it comes to customers. I have days that I am fine making conversation and then days where everything from eye contact to explanations of a product make me nervous. I am always pleasant (for the most part) and rarely let these tendencies affect my happy facade, but they are there none-the-less. The nervousness in the dream came about the same way it does at work or any other time IRL - randomly and/or for silly reasons.

Facebook status updates about the coffee house (since I am still friends with some people from that church) probably influenced T.W.'s appearance and the coffee house. Perhaps my need for coffee triggered a memory of the most recent mention of the word?

Lack of coffee doesn't actually make my stomach hurt, but it does help keep me regular. When I don't have coffee, it does throw me off ... :-p I did wake up with an actual stomach ache, though. I also made myself a nice cup of coffee! ^_-

I just wanna be naked!

Az and I are in the back of a car. We seem to be alone so we start fooling around a little. (I can't remember exactly what we were doing, but I remember feeling free enough to fully release every scream and moan!)

Suddenly, a head appears in the front passengers seat - it's Az's brother, J. At this point, I realize that we are in what seems to be a mini van - I thought it was a car? Az's brother M is in the middle seat. How could they have been in here the whole time?! I'm very embarrassed, significantly more-so when M appears (irl I don't like being too cuddly with Az in front of people, but especially around those I perceive as lonely and/or bitter).

I'm not sure where this scene ends and the other begins, but next thing I can recall: I am in the bathroom naked, but with the door open (I usually do this irl when I first get out of the shower to let some cool air in - though, I'll only crack it when people are home) I freely walk out of the bathroom, completely in the naked, to dry off and enjoy the air (I also do this every chance I get, but only when home alone). All of a sudden, I realize the room is full of people (I don't remember who)! Why Didn't I check, I always check!

I find myself in the bathroom again. Although, this time, my cousin is standing in front of the mirror. (I didn't notice this in the dream but I guess I couldn't see her face in it. I should have been able to, considering the angle) I know it's her ... I don't know what she's doing exactly, but it looks as though she's applying make-up. For some reason I don't really mind her being in here with me (typically, I'm uncomfortable sharing the bathroom). She doesn't seem to mind either, or even notice that I'm here. It's more that she doesn't notice, which is strange.

At some point she turns around, still not acknowledging my presence. She has a man's face! Well, it is still her face, but she's wearing no make-up, has a mustache and goatee and her hair is shorter. (I don't think that was the case when I viewed her from behind - I thought I saw long hair?)

We're not in that bathroom anymore or even in the same house for that matter - we seem to be in a room that resembles my memory of her mother's room. In this scene, I watch as she walks out the front door, still silent and serious. I think she's also wearing men's clothing?

Now I am in what seems to be a school/daycare of some sort. I have two little girls of the age of 5 or so under my supervision - I don't think I am their teacher or regular supervisor. I don't know why I'm doing this (I like kids, but I don't like to be in charge of them).

I can't get the little blond girl to listen to me - while the other girl is well-mannered, the blond keeps luring her to run off. I get the feeling that there is some sort of disaster going on outside, so I have to keep them in here.

***

Since Az and I live with his family - and his very Christian mother who does not believe in 'premarital sex' - we seldom have any true privacy! When we are so lucky, I tend to be worried on some level we will be get caught or that I am being too loud ... so full release (emotional and physical) is rare.

I was telling Az a story about my cousin the other say - probably the reason for her appearance. The cross-dressing thing was likely inspired by a she-male photo I'd seen before bed!

Az's little nephew has been coming on Saturdays - he's around the age of 4, I think. I sometimes day dream about being good with kids, particularly him more recently. Little kids always tend to love me and I love the idea of connecting with them, but irl there is always anxiety attached.

what should I call this?

I'm in a room with a dark-skinned brunette girl (I think she is Indian) who is about my size. I'm excited because I think we're going to mess around, but I am too nervous to make any moves myself. I get the feeling she is going to take control.

She wants me to finger her (she doesn't communicate this in an obvious way, but somehow I just know - and it feels like she's guiding me forcefully, but only with her mind). I slip my finger inside of her, and her juices feel so hot that it almost burns. She is on fire! (I remember the hot feeling on my finger vividly) It's almost too hot (literally) for me too handle, but not quite.

She wants me to grope her. Again, it feels like she is forcing me, but physically and verbally, she is not. She must be controlling me with her mind?

I grab her breasts firmly, noting their size and shape; so perfectly round, and not quite a handful. At first, I wish there were more to grab, but then I realize her being smaller excites me.

Now she wants me to eat her out; she really wants it. I slip my tongue inside of her, and she feels even hotter. I can't get over how hot it feels on my tongue. How is this possible? It's almost hot enough to burn the tip, but not quite. I can handle it. I swirl my tongue inside of her hole. It's so wet! She squirts at random, with such force. I can feel it. I wonder how far it would shoot if my mouth weren't there to catch it? I can't take my tongue out though. Will she not let me?

I feel a 'squirming' sensation that for some reason gives me the impression that she is at her peak. I know she is going to squirt again, probably with even more force than before! I catch it with my mouth, tongue outside of her at this point. Now, I can taste it ...it has a different kind of taste than what I'm used to, though. Also a different texture; a bit thicker. I'm not sure that I like it, but I don't dislike it either. It's strong and kind of bitter. (this taste seemed so real!)

Now the Indian girl, my cousin Shayna, a random stranger (I think a man) and I are all in a bedroom that sort of resembles Bryn's room (a little girl I used to babysit irl). There is a bunk bed, and some of us are standing beside it; I think the Indian girl and I are sitting on the bottom bunk. There is a condom wrapper on the bed between us. (In the dream, I assumed that it was from when the Indian girl and I were messing around. Then, I realized that didn't make sense. Maybe it was from Shayna and the man with us?)

My uncle G appears in the door way. Immediately, he notices the condom wrapper (as if he has radar for that sort of thing) and points his judgmental finger toward it, angrily. I can't hear what he's saying, but I can tell he's spewing out religious superior crap. What an moron; why don't you go die already? He goes back into the hallway with my mom and his wife. I can't hear them, but I know they talking about how sinful we are. I roll my eyes.

Now, uncle G and aunt Em are on what I guess is their porch, rocking in their rocking chairs. It's a typical southern scene to me. I go up to them, standing next to the steps that lead up to the porch. Shanya and the Indian girl are behind me. The man may be standing back there too. I'm talking in my superior old man voice, spewing out some bible verses, mimicking him. I want a strong reaction from him. :) I get the feeling that everyone behind me is amused, but that this may be making Shanya a bit uncomfortable.

Strangely, uncle G is laughing with us. I expected he'd tell me that I'm going to hell or something? On the contrary, he seems to find this amusing; so unlike him. It's nice to see him laugh and not take himself so seriously, though. Could it be that he's mellowing out?

Now I am in what seems to be a college bathroom. There are shower stalls in front of me, and I think I had just gotten out of one. I need to pee, so I see there is a hole in the center of the floor. I think it's a drain, but without a cover. I squat down to pee in the hole.

I wait to hear my pee reach the bottom, but it takes a long time! I hope this is in fact a drain. I can hear a man's voice down there - oops! I hope I didn't pee on him. I think Allie (Az's dog) is trapped down there ... I can hear her barking. I get the feeling the man is helping her, so I am not worried.

I enter a bedroom that resembles my cousin Teena's old bedroom, only more spacious. I throw my towel off and sprawl out on the floor, completely naked. ahhhh -I could fall asleep like this!

Suddenly, the man from the hole walks in with Allie. At first, I am embarrassed, but then I am indifferent. Next thing I know, I am excited. I want him to look.

***

Out for a Jog

Az and I are jogging up the main road of our community. As we are approaching the mailboxes, I see Wendy from a distance; I know it's her mostly because of her legs (for some reason, they were very distinguishing in the dream "I'd know those legs anywhere" - strange.) but also because I notice that Dick and their daughter, Bryn, are jogging beside her.

I ask Az to slow down a bit - I don't want to catch up to them. Just as I am hoping Bryn doesn't happen to notice me, I hear "mommy, I see Tai!", a little too close for comfort. As I look to my left to complain to Az, he is already gone; he must have escaped, leaving me to deal the awkwardness - bastard! ;) She runs toward me, we small-talk for a bit, and then she runs back up to Wendy. I am thankful that she didn't have any awkward questions or comments for me. It was odd - she was so casual and nonchalant about everything where she is usually miserable and overly dramatic.

Suddenly, I notice that Dick is jogging beside me; I am instantly pissed. I think he is trying catch up with me in his usual pathetic flirting style, where he obviously thinks that I MUST be into him, while blatantly oblivious of the body language that so obviously proves that I'd love nothing more than for lightening to come crashing of the sky, just to strike him ... >:)~

***

I don't know if this is a separate dream, but I assume it's connected, since I am still walking around the same community.

I am walking down a road - it seems like one in my community because of the hills, but the scenery is much more open, with less trees. The landscape more closely resembles what I've seen while visiting family down south than anything I've become familiar with, living up here.

I'm walking uphill. As I'm getting closer to the top, I realize that there is a blond girl ahead of me - I don't know her, but I guess she is a bit younger than me ... probably in her late teens. She is attractive from behind, but I try not to think that way, since she could be really young.

As I am catching up to her (not deliberately - she has just slowed down a lot while I've been going a steady pace), she has apparently been unaware of me, as my presence seems to have startled her. She gasped, and then stopped for a breather, bent over slightly with her hands on her knees, "God, you scared me!" she exclaims. I chuckle, and playfully apologize.

It now seems that we are good friends, as we are walking together to some random house - neither one of us knows whose house it is, but we decide it would be a good idea to knock on the door and introduce ourselves. At this point, I am noticing that this girl reminds me of a cool chick named Melissa that I used to work with who was also a little younger than me. As we approach the screen door, my little brother is somehow there with us - I get the impression he's only there because he thinks my new friend is hot.

I knock on the door; since it's a screen door, and the main door is open, and I can see inside. After the knock, a middle-aged woman rises from what seems like a hot tub, directly in front of us less than 10 feet from the door. She is coming out to answer in nothing but a bathing suit, which is just kind of awkward; it feels like we are interrupting.

She lets us in, and shows us to the living room, where her sons (I assume that's who they are) are all on computers, fully focused on whatever it is they're doing. She lets them know we are there, but they couldn't care less; one even gave us a slight attitude. Suddenly, I feel really stupid and question why we came in the first place; it seems like such a silly idea now. Oh, well. :)

This One Almost Made Me Late for Work!

I am in our living room, present, but not really participating in the conversation going on. Az's cousin, Belle, has stopped by for a visit. I recall hearing that she's entered a couple beauty pageants, and won some money being one of the runner ups. I am thinking about how I also heard that she cried over not winning - which I think is silly. If it were me, I'd rather not win .... take the money and run, is more like it! ;)

I am watching her from across the living room as she walks over to the dishwasher and back. She is very pretty - I notice her long, tan legs and big, dark, full hair, sparkling brown eyes, and her gorgeous smile. I compare her to myself and decide that, even though I do find myself attractive as well, she definitely fits the 'pageant' category where I do not (lol - I consider myself to be in 'porn-star category' - or maybe something more 'cutesy' ... but not a 'super model' or an 'American beauty). She's quite ditzy as well, and very happy all the time ... so even the personality fits. :)

At some point, Az and I are getting ready to leave for work, but Az says something that makes it seem as though we may not have to go in. I am confused by this, and insist that there is no reason we wouldn't have to. At some point, I hear my cell phone ringing but for some reason, I assume it's the house phone.(which is odd, considering the rings are totally different.)

We are now in a car(although, we are both passengers, which is odd, considering he usually drives) but I am not sure who is driving - I think it's his mom. I assume she is dropping us off at work, but then I notice that it is snowing heavily outside (maybe that is what Az meant as to why we might not have to go in? Why is it snowing in the summer, though?)

As the weather calms down, we arrive at our destination, which is my parent's house (Why are we HERE?) Az seems to walk in like it's no big deal, but I am trying to figure out how we got so far from home in what seems like a few minutes.(For some reason I didn't question the oddness of freely walking into my parents house when I haven't seen them in years.)

***

While I was half awake that morning, I overheard a conversation between Az's mom and brother about Belle (her beauty pageants and crying), which helped to produce some of the dream details. I must have dozed back off soon after that because the phone I heard in the dream was actually the alarm on my cell going off, irl Since the dream justified ignoring it in my mind, I was almost late for work! >.<