what should I call this?

I'm in a room with a dark-skinned brunette girl (I think she is Indian) who is about my size. I'm excited because I think we're going to mess around, but I am too nervous to make any moves myself. I get the feeling she is going to take control.

She wants me to finger her (she doesn't communicate this in an obvious way, but somehow I just know - and it feels like she's guiding me forcefully, but only with her mind). I slip my finger inside of her, and her juices feel so hot that it almost burns. She is on fire! (I remember the hot feeling on my finger vividly) It's almost too hot (literally) for me too handle, but not quite.

She wants me to grope her. Again, it feels like she is forcing me, but physically and verbally, she is not. She must be controlling me with her mind?

I grab her breasts firmly, noting their size and shape; so perfectly round, and not quite a handful. At first, I wish there were more to grab, but then I realize her being smaller excites me.

Now she wants me to eat her out; she really wants it. I slip my tongue inside of her, and she feels even hotter. I can't get over how hot it feels on my tongue. How is this possible? It's almost hot enough to burn the tip, but not quite. I can handle it. I swirl my tongue inside of her hole. It's so wet! She squirts at random, with such force. I can feel it. I wonder how far it would shoot if my mouth weren't there to catch it? I can't take my tongue out though. Will she not let me?

I feel a 'squirming' sensation that for some reason gives me the impression that she is at her peak. I know she is going to squirt again, probably with even more force than before! I catch it with my mouth, tongue outside of her at this point. Now, I can taste it ...it has a different kind of taste than what I'm used to, though. Also a different texture; a bit thicker. I'm not sure that I like it, but I don't dislike it either. It's strong and kind of bitter. (this taste seemed so real!)

Now the Indian girl, my cousin Shayna, a random stranger (I think a man) and I are all in a bedroom that sort of resembles Bryn's room (a little girl I used to babysit irl). There is a bunk bed, and some of us are standing beside it; I think the Indian girl and I are sitting on the bottom bunk. There is a condom wrapper on the bed between us. (In the dream, I assumed that it was from when the Indian girl and I were messing around. Then, I realized that didn't make sense. Maybe it was from Shayna and the man with us?)

My uncle G appears in the door way. Immediately, he notices the condom wrapper (as if he has radar for that sort of thing) and points his judgmental finger toward it, angrily. I can't hear what he's saying, but I can tell he's spewing out religious superior crap. What an moron; why don't you go die already? He goes back into the hallway with my mom and his wife. I can't hear them, but I know they talking about how sinful we are. I roll my eyes.

Now, uncle G and aunt Em are on what I guess is their porch, rocking in their rocking chairs. It's a typical southern scene to me. I go up to them, standing next to the steps that lead up to the porch. Shanya and the Indian girl are behind me. The man may be standing back there too. I'm talking in my superior old man voice, spewing out some bible verses, mimicking him. I want a strong reaction from him. :) I get the feeling that everyone behind me is amused, but that this may be making Shanya a bit uncomfortable.

Strangely, uncle G is laughing with us. I expected he'd tell me that I'm going to hell or something? On the contrary, he seems to find this amusing; so unlike him. It's nice to see him laugh and not take himself so seriously, though. Could it be that he's mellowing out?

Now I am in what seems to be a college bathroom. There are shower stalls in front of me, and I think I had just gotten out of one. I need to pee, so I see there is a hole in the center of the floor. I think it's a drain, but without a cover. I squat down to pee in the hole.

I wait to hear my pee reach the bottom, but it takes a long time! I hope this is in fact a drain. I can hear a man's voice down there - oops! I hope I didn't pee on him. I think Allie (Az's dog) is trapped down there ... I can hear her barking. I get the feeling the man is helping her, so I am not worried.

I enter a bedroom that resembles my cousin Teena's old bedroom, only more spacious. I throw my towel off and sprawl out on the floor, completely naked. ahhhh -I could fall asleep like this!

Suddenly, the man from the hole walks in with Allie. At first, I am embarrassed, but then I am indifferent. Next thing I know, I am excited. I want him to look.

***

a Deli Snooze

I've lost many details of this one, but the latest scene I can recall: I am standing in the middle of the deli, broom in hand, getting ready to sweep when I look up and notice that someone is trying to get my attention from across the aisle, on the other side of the counter. It turns out to be the cute brunette (although she's tried every hair color, which in itself is somehow arousing to me?) from produce, and she has apparently been standing there for quite a few minutes now. She waved, giving me a look that I translated to, "finally you notice!" I think she just wanted to say good-bye (I guess her shift is over), since she literally just waved and then set off for the next aisle that leads to the front doors.

Next scene I can recall: I am lying on the prep table in the deli; apparently, I've fallen asleep here. I look over (the prep table is located behind the deli counter, and off to the side where customers don't usually notice immediately) and notice that there is a man, who somewhat resembles 'Borat', waiting to place an order. I don't know how long he's been standing there, or how long I've even been sleeping, but I jump up, and try to play it off. It's too late though - he already knows that I had fallen asleep. He's not angry at all though -- in fact, he seems thoroughly amused. I don't remember him commenting, but I do remember his smile and the sight of his laughter (I couldn't really hear anything).

As I walk toward the center of the deli (where we usually greet the customers, since there is so much crap on the counter to the far left and right), I think of how messy my hair seems to be. Ugh, how embarrassing. For some reason, I just can't open my eyes enough - it's too bright. I'm trying to, but I can't see well. This is so frustrating ...

***

I do not know the girl in produce, but Az's brother dated her for a short time, so I am aware of her bi-sexuality. Before I knew that about her, my ex worked in produce with her, so I'd noticed her even then; she definitely fit my idea of cute. Becoming aware of her bi-sexuality however has led me to wonder whether her smiles are polite or something a little more. ^_^

The other day, she needed the mop as I was putting it away. We exchanged friendly glaces and said hello, which probably opened the schema associated with my curiosity of her, inspiring the dream situation.

My eyes are actually very sensitive to light (too much exposure to florescent lighting gives me a slight headache). I've never had trouble seeing at work, but the light does affect me negatively.

Dream Moods suggests that my lack of sight could signify difficulties and/or errors in judgment.

This is a Dream! Oops ... is it Not?

Az and I are sitting up on a queen-sized bed, he on the edge closest to the center of the room while I am in the center of the bed cuddled up next to him. I realize that I do not know exactly where we are, and it occurs to me it looks like a motel room. Why am I in a motel - I don't remember traveling? Things are a little suspicious, and I figure that I must be dreaming.

Suddenly, there is another man on our bed next to me, relaxing on the side closest to the door and window (I am snuggling up to Az, who is still on my other side). His face is completely blurred, but I can see his long, light brown, mangled hair, scruffy beard growing in, and an ear piercing clearly. Even though I'd never met him in person and have never seen a picture, I am somehow certain that this is a particular online friend of mine.

I don't think it was the case moments ago, but at this point, the friend and I are conveniently under the covers. I slip my hand under sheets, reaching for his waist, and slip my hand down his pants to feel whether or not he is erect. I feel that he is, and slip my hand back out, I slide back over to my boyfriend, and look up at him. He seems oblivious to the situation.

I have an urge to pounce on my friend, but I'd want to know first that Az is okay with it. Then I recall: this is only a dream! I scoot over, closer to my friend, practically on top of him and nibble on his lower lip. At this point, I hope it's a dream, but wonder if perhaps I'd misjudged it.

I crawl back over to Az and, looking up at him, notice an interesting expression. It's certainly not anger, but I can't exactly read it. It's almost the playful "you're such a punk" look that he gives me so often. :)

***

It should be noted that I love my boyfriend and thoroughly enjoy our sex life together. It is also true that I have fantasies of others joining in our special time. ;) My boyfriend is not down irl, and that is cool with me. My mind still likes to have its own way. ;)

The theme was likely inspired by a 'motel fantasy' mentioned in a conversation between the online friend and I.

Redhead Lust ... and wtf?

I'm in the deli's walk-in cooler at work, either to cool off or put something away when Kami, the department manager, walks in with someone important (someone from corporate maybe?). I don't know what this is about or why she is here, but it is a little claustrophobic in that cooler with three people, so I plan to get what I need and get out. (I try to avoid talking to the higher ups anyway, if at all possible - they make me so nervous, even though they're usually a joke!)

From the corner of my eye, I can tell that she is looking in my direction, and rather frequently. This is nerve wracking, since I assume it must be about something I'm doing wrong or possibly that she plans on talking to me about something eventually. Unable anymore to avoid her glances, I finally look her way. I had noticed that she was hot previously, but being nervous, I was less focused on that. Now I realize, in full detail just how attracted I actually am to her. Trying to be discrete, I check her out at every chance I get.

Her hair is such a rich shade of red ... and long, too! So long in fact, that even as it is tied back into a ponytail, it still reaches her lower back. She has the perfect hair type to have long like that, too - thick and full of body. As much as I love long hair on women, due to it's fine texture, I have to keep mine only a bit below my shoulders. I guess I am a little envious!

She also has an amazing body! Wearing a modest, grey dress suit, her curves still manage to announce their presence. She's tall and lean (much taller than me, although that's not hard to do!) I don't remember much about her face, but her overall appearance combined with the strong, confident air about her made me think of Laura Croft, redhead version!

She doesn't say anything to me, just keeps looking my way, not even trying to hide it. At this point, I don't care if she notices me doing the same. Her face looks so serious every time, which is puzzling. I smile uncomfortably, while I wait to see what the point of this is. Kami has been talking to her the entire time, and she's done a mixture of listening and talking (going through the motions) sometimes, while looking directly at me (weird).

Suddenly, she has Kami leave the cooler. I'm not sure why, but it seems to be understood that she needs to have a private word with the 'sandwich specialist' ;). When the cooler door clicks shut, she doesn't waste a minute before she pounces on me!

She's really going at it - feeling me up, kissing my neck. I certainly don't resist, but it takes me a bit of warming up before I accept the situation enough to express my own desires. I don't remember the details of the transition, but at some point I am fiercely groping her, noting that her breasts are about my size, and biting her lip. To this she stops me briefly to exclaim with a smirk, "Oh, so you are a lesbian?!" At this point, I am wanting to explain that while I have bisexual urges, that I do have a boyfriend. I worry that if she thinks I am lesbian, she might assume I am single and hope for something more serious. I however push these thoughts aside, to enjoy the moment.

Somehow, we are now swimming in a swimming pool together (This is where the details get fuzzy). I don't remember as much here, but we are enjoying ourselves, just swimming, and flirting. The only thing I remember vividly is the touching ... especially rubbing up on her smooth, wet body with mine. At this point, I mention being bisexual and having a boyfriend - she doesn't seem to mind. In fact, I think he shows up at some point to say hello (I vaguely remember him appearing briefly, giving me an smirk that I took to mean, "I want you to give me all the details when you get home, punk!").

Now we are on one seems to be a small cliff, the pool is beneath us, but it looks more like a lake now. (was it always a lake? I was so sure it was a swimming pool?) There is a chubby, blond girl off in the distance who seems to be watching us - I get the impression that she's jealous of me. Is she perhaps a girlfriend/sex partner of my new redhead friend?

Now, this is where it gets a little creepy: I now see a little blond boy (four of five years old) sitting on the edge of the cliff - he looks a little out of it. Suddenly, the jealous, blond girl appears behind him and pushes him off the cliff! At this point, it's hardly a cliff (luckily!) ... we are much closer to the water than we were at first ... in fact, it's now more like a rock over water than an actual cliff. I dive in to save him, and pull him back onto the rock.

***

She Loves Me Not ... She Loves Me? o_0

I am in the basement of my parent's house (quite an an odd setting, for me - but I think, in the dream, it's where I live). First thing I can recall is laying on the pull-out sofa bed that is against the wall where a bookcase used to be (at least, the last time I was there) with Eadoin and a friend (I'm not sure if she is more Eadoin's friend or mine, but I am uneasy around them both).

At some point, it seems as though Eadoin and Rook are back together as a couple (irl, they broke up a while ago, and she has long since moved on). I get the idea that since Eadoin is willing to give Rook another chance, that she is also willing to give me another chance (irl, I assume that she blames and strongly dislikes me for her idea of what went wrong in their relationship). There is a scene I can recall where they are kissing, which is mostly what gives me the impression that they are back together.

On the sofa-bed, we are talking and goofing around. Her personality seems more like my cousin, Moxie's, but then again, Eadoin was always rather timid and reserved around me. Her drunken personality was however, similar to Moxie's actual personality, which could be where the connection was drawn. I find myself wishing I could feel safe enough to truly express myself, but it's difficult. I think it's because I am wary of the situation in general - why is she okay with me all of a sudden? Why is she so 'free' around me?

As I catch a few glimpses of her, I notice that she has slight tan lines on her back, but that her legs are still very pale. With this, I wonder if perhaps being tan in the summer is not as important to her as it is to me. In another scene, where she is walking by the deli with Rook, I notice that she looks wider from the back than she used to - it seems like she has gained some weight. (A fellow co-worker has put on a lot of weight as of recently, which has been disappointing to me, considering she was once very attractive. Because this coworker has always slightly resembled Eadoine in my mind, perhaps I projected this onto her?)

Back on the sofa-bed, I think of asking if everything is really okay (with our situation) for reassurance, but decide against it. I also think of asking what went wrong in the relationship she seems to have broke off in order to go back to Rook, but figure it's not my place. I think at this point, I am trying to 'be free' in the only way I know how... so, I playfully plant a kiss on her mouth, biting her lower lip, hoping to initiate some action ^_-. She smiles and giggles, but backs away, seeming a little uncomfortable with that sort of thing.

At this point, I realize that I had shut the basement door (since I had sexual thoughts at the time, I remembered where I was (my parent's house) and worried that I'd get in trouble). I remember that my parents knew nothing of my 'lesbian tendencies', so I realize that, as long as there are no boys with us, there is nothing to worry about.

Now, we (Eadoine, the friend, and I) are all sitting on the floor by the television. I don't remember what was said, but I feel like Eadoine is being very bossy. Something on the tv reminds me of the manga series I've recently started reading, Black Lagoon, and so I mention it to her. Surprisingly, she seems interested. I don't take her to be much of a manga-chick - maybe we have more in common than I thought? I decide to go upstairs to my bedroom to retrieve the first two books of the series for her.

Rook is in my bedroom, for some reason - I'm a little surprised to find him there, but not terribly (it should have been a little creepy for me). As I am grabbing the mangas, he comes up behind me and lightly nibbles on my neck. I let him do it for a moment, because it's just the right spot, but when it 'clicks' what is happening, I run back downstairs ... "what is with him - didn't he learn his lesson when he lost her the last time he fooled around?!"

***

This dream took place at my parent's likely because they have been on my mind more lately, as my mother and I are trying to 'mend' our relationship (or lack thereof).

Oh, the fun I could have, if only I could learn to free myself of the guilt and worry by becoming lucid! >.<

Caught with his Pants Down!

I'm in a small bedroom (not one that I can recall from real life) with Eidan - I think it's supposed to be his. Even though its not set up the same, it somehow reminds me of mine and Deban's (an ex) room when we were living with his father. I'm sitting in the corner almost behind the mostly closed door while he is sitting somewhat diagonal from me a good distance away, playing a video game.

All of a sudden, Eidan is standing in front of me with his penis out, fully erect and in hand. I zoom in on it, and notice that it's much larger than it should be. I love it when he's so up front with his sexual energy because usually he's so calm and controlled - it's really turning me on, but I'm worried that his penis it too big for me - "how is that going to fit inside of me?"

As I am now on my back and my pants are somehow already down, he goes to shove it in. I'm begging him to play with me first, as I want to make sure I'm at my wettest state to prevent the pain I expect to experience.

He doesn't respond, obviously not wanting to play! He instantly rams it inside as far as it will go, and to my surprise, it doesn't hurt; not in a bad way at least. The feeling is odd, but in a good way ... I can tell it's such a tight squeeze, but it's only the pressure that I feel. It's doesn't feel like normal sex, but it's still feels awesome!

I'm trying so hard to control myself by biting down on my own fist, but loud squeaks and moans still manage to escape from my mouth. They sound so loud, but I don't understand how they can be. I'm afraid Eidan's mom is going to catch us, and I can somehow tell that he's thinking the same thing.

We are so close to the door (literally right beside it) that we are able to quickly notice it slowly opening. It was never all the way shut, likely because Eidan's mom doesn't like us to be completely out of view. (Even though Eidan and I are both adults, his mother has religious convictions and is very firm about not allowing that sort of thing under her roof.)

Just before the door opens halfway, Eidan jumps off of me quicker than he could possibly move irl and is back against the other wall playing his game by the time she enters the room with clean laundry. I don't think he had enough time to pull his pants up, because I see that he is now under the blue blanket that I usually sleep with. He pulled out so quickly that my vagina feels like it's 'in shock' (lol) - it felt like he was still inside, even though he obviously wasn't - it was strange.

I don't remember pulling my pants up, but somehow I am totally decent. I'm a little sweaty, but I'm pulling that off by pretending that I just finished a work out (I don't know how I was pretending that as I was actually just sitting there, but in the dream I knew it was a believable front). Somehow, there is now a pile of dirty towels next to me and I am using one to wipe the sweat from my forehead as she is walking toward Eidan with a pile of folded clothes.

I feel like she must suspect something, since she seems annoyed. For some reason, she puts the clothes down and looks under the blanket he is using to cover the fact that he's indecent. Suddenly, she's going back and fourth between yelling and grunting angry remarks under her breath.

For some reason, I get the idea that she assumes he's been masturbating rather than having sex. (I don't know if that was a blind assumption or if it was based on one of her comments. I don't actually remember her comments.)

***